Blues
Blues, Blues, Blues. I'm not sure why I have the blues.
1) Mike just left to visit his folks for the weekend
2) Back from vacation - always tough
3) A year older and grumpier
4) End of year slowing in the market
5) Turning of the seasons
6) Back pain from terrible bed
General grumpiness is a terrible thing. I keep trying to think of all the positive things I have and to turn this frown upside down. It doesn't seem to be working. I'm in this pit of self pity and it's disgusting. I have so many things to be happy about. SNAP OUT OF IT.
I think one of the most frustrating things is that I don't know how I'm going to grow my business next year. I can't afford the space I think I need. I can't afford the assistant I think I need. What with Dot having left and the negative cash flow on the rental and other such things my monthly expenses have jumped higher than a fireworks display on GF day. I know I should stop whining. The thought of having another year next year like this year is getting me down. I either have to grow more or I have to slow down or I just need to get a new attitude. I think I'm really bummed about the space. Does anyone know any millionaires? Or people who want to work for free? Sometimes I feel like if I could squeeze in more time during the day and I would be okay and then other times I feel like I'm about to keel over and I want to run away and not come back. I feel alone. I feel that very few people understand this lifestyle; including Mike. He doesn't seem to understand my need to get out of the freaking house and get my own space after almost 3 years. I'm going nuts.
I seem to get antsy this time of year every year. Maybe it's the natural progression of the year. You get all bummed out and miffed just in time to get over it by January and hit the ground running. Maybe this is the way it is supposed to be? Although the market is slow I'm still swamped; but it's swamped with doing things like mailings, newsletters, print ads, etc. etc.etc. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I'm wasting my time on these things when I should be out there meeting new clients and prospecting to get more business. AHAHHAHAHAHHA. Okay, okay, shhhhh..relax....it will all be okay. Sigh. Work really is absolutely great and I've exceeded my goals so why all this grumpiness?
It finally happened. I was in Target shopping when someone yelled "Hi, V!". Of course I know I should know this person. I know I should know them well. But I can't place them. It was terrible. I was checking out their shopping cart with the hopes that somehow something they were buying would jog my memory. Of course I'm very awkward because I don't know how well, well I know them. Right after they walk away it hits me and I am just so mortified. Such is life.
UPDATE:
I just got the funniest birthday card and I feel a million times better! Who knew that there are card makers out there who truly understand the finer things in life and that more importantly we have friends to enjoy them with :-)
1) Mike just left to visit his folks for the weekend
2) Back from vacation - always tough
3) A year older and grumpier
4) End of year slowing in the market
5) Turning of the seasons
6) Back pain from terrible bed
General grumpiness is a terrible thing. I keep trying to think of all the positive things I have and to turn this frown upside down. It doesn't seem to be working. I'm in this pit of self pity and it's disgusting. I have so many things to be happy about. SNAP OUT OF IT.
I think one of the most frustrating things is that I don't know how I'm going to grow my business next year. I can't afford the space I think I need. I can't afford the assistant I think I need. What with Dot having left and the negative cash flow on the rental and other such things my monthly expenses have jumped higher than a fireworks display on GF day. I know I should stop whining. The thought of having another year next year like this year is getting me down. I either have to grow more or I have to slow down or I just need to get a new attitude. I think I'm really bummed about the space. Does anyone know any millionaires? Or people who want to work for free? Sometimes I feel like if I could squeeze in more time during the day and I would be okay and then other times I feel like I'm about to keel over and I want to run away and not come back. I feel alone. I feel that very few people understand this lifestyle; including Mike. He doesn't seem to understand my need to get out of the freaking house and get my own space after almost 3 years. I'm going nuts.
I seem to get antsy this time of year every year. Maybe it's the natural progression of the year. You get all bummed out and miffed just in time to get over it by January and hit the ground running. Maybe this is the way it is supposed to be? Although the market is slow I'm still swamped; but it's swamped with doing things like mailings, newsletters, print ads, etc. etc.etc. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I'm wasting my time on these things when I should be out there meeting new clients and prospecting to get more business. AHAHHAHAHAHHA. Okay, okay, shhhhh..relax....it will all be okay. Sigh. Work really is absolutely great and I've exceeded my goals so why all this grumpiness?
It finally happened. I was in Target shopping when someone yelled "Hi, V!". Of course I know I should know this person. I know I should know them well. But I can't place them. It was terrible. I was checking out their shopping cart with the hopes that somehow something they were buying would jog my memory. Of course I'm very awkward because I don't know how well, well I know them. Right after they walk away it hits me and I am just so mortified. Such is life.
UPDATE:
I just got the funniest birthday card and I feel a million times better! Who knew that there are card makers out there who truly understand the finer things in life and that more importantly we have friends to enjoy them with :-)
posted by bobette @ 2:41 PM
2 Comments:
At 3:27 PM ,
Michelle B said...
Crap--set an alarm on my palm to remind me of your birthday and then baby-sapped brain completely zoned out on the big day. Happy Bday!! We should go to lunch. Seems like it was exactly one year ago the blues hit you and we had coffee at Petes...wonder if it is seasonal somehow...hmm...I will ponder ways to cheer you up.
At 3:29 PM ,
Anonymous said...
I get a little weird this time of year, too. I think you are right that some of it is the season. It's hard when summer is officially gone and you're facing winter.
I understand the need to get out of the house after having worked at home for about 1 year and now just hanging out at home for a year. Maybe things will get better once 24 Hour Fitness opens. It does help me when I get out to go workout, even though I don't talk to anyone.
I know you don't really want suggestions, but could you turn your garage into an office? Oh dear, now I can't remember if you have a garage. Well, if you do, could you? That might ease space issues until you're ready to make the big leap.
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