Stream of Conscience

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Jimmy Walker

Thank you for your kind words :-) Moo, the ForeRunner is super cool and I would get one just for walking. I'm tempted to wear it the whole week just to see how much I walk. It Auto Stops when you stop. Very clever.

Yesterday I met Jimmy Walker. My propensity to talk with strangers led to this encounter. I was unloading my open house sign on the corner of 17th and Josephine and there was Jimmy. He ambled up to me and with his toothless smile and said "hi". Jimmy is homeless, 59, ex-military, African American, and very articulate. He unfortunately smells very badly else I would have prolonged our encounter. I offered him 4 bags of Lays which he graciously accepted.

Today I ran into Jimmy on the same corner. He is such a nice guy and I have to wonder to myself how he found himself in the position he did. Skip the rest of this paragraph as it's upsetting. Apparently there are 21,000 homeless people in Colorado. The bush administration pre-war pledged 7 Million to the plight but since then not much has happened. The numbers are growing dramatically due to our pleasant climate. He has met people from all over the world who are homeless in Denver. The worst part is the abuse that homeless women experience. He witnessed a homeless friend that was struck by a car, lost both her legs, and then died 3 days later. He said it was the most helpless position he has ever been in as all he could do was hold her. Talk about perspective.

Anyway, I'm reading the book "One Thousand White Women". To say I'm disappointed would be an understatement. After all the hype the book got it really seems a let down. There is one paragraph that I felt was redeeming. The conversation centers around happiness and what it means to different cultures. I love this quote "..that's exactly the good think about Injun life - you don't have to stop and think about whether or not you're happy - which in my opinion is a highly overrated human condition invented by white folks ..you got a roof over your head? you warm? you got enough food to eat? you got a good man? you got friends? you got something to do to keep you busy?".

Well, I guess I must be happy :-)

The great news is that a couple I'm currently working with are both English teacher, one university and one middle school, and they have given me excellent reading recommendations. That makes me really happy!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Borken Will

Sorry Momma :-) I get to see you so I figure it's all a wash.

I remember watching the women's marathon for the Summer Olympics a few years back. The favorite to win was England's Paula Radcliffe who currently holds women's marathon world record at 2:15:25. There was so much hope riding on her as it was one of England's few moments to shine. The race started well and she seemed to be doing very well. Towards the middle of the race things started to look a little shaky as she slowed. With about just 6 miles to go she suddenly quit, sat on the side of the road, and cried uncontrollably. I remember seeing the disappointment in the crowd, and seeing people yell "get up, get up", and Paula just sitting there crying. I thought to myself, how can you let your nation down like that. Why just quit? Why don't you at least just complete the race since you have come so far you and you have just a few more miles to go.

I now understand, as best I can, why she couldn't go on and why she was crying. After running 2:04:00 yesterday and only completing 10.64 miles I can understand her mental anguish. Yesterday's run was truly one of the lowest points, and highest points, I've felt for a long time.

The run started off on a different note as we set out at 4:00 PM. We usually run first thing in the morning as my body has never been able to adjust to exercise after food consumption. The wind was fierce which was another factor. I had mentally checked out which was probably the most important factor of all. After a mile in I told myself that this run will be tough as I already felt ill, and that I should liken it to my career. There will be many rocky patches but hopefully I'll prevail. This was probably the least helpful thought of all and the worste mindset to put myself in.

Our course started at REI's Speer location. We ran down the platte trail which is really all uphill, existed Downing St, up to Washington Park, around the park, and then back to the trail and home. Things seemed okay, although not stellar, until mile 7 at which time my body gave out.

The frustration I felt is difficult to describe. I wanted run, but my body just physically couldn't do it. My muscles had swelled and my joints were screaming with pain. I felt fatigued and every step felt like I was dragging a concrete block behind me. I couldn't stop the tears of frustration. It was such an overwhelming feeling of futility and anguish. I couldn't believe that my mind could not conquer matter.

I sent Mike ahead of me as I couldn't lead anymore and knew I just had to regroup. If he jogged ahead of me and I kept him in my sights he would then lead me home. Mile 8 and 9 were interspersed with .5 miles of running, and a minute of walking as it was the only way I could get through it. Mike waited for me ahead making sure I was at least moving forward. I started mile 10 optimistic knowing that I only had 1 more mile to go. If I just kept running a bit, walking a bit, I would eventually make it back.

At mile 10.5 I stopped to walk my minute, rounded a corner in the trail and saw the most beautiful sight before me. A bridge crossing over the Platte, and right behind it the railway tracks with REI looming over it. Mike was standing on the bridge waiting for me and when he saw me he raised his arms in triumph. I was so happy to see the final destination that I broke into a run to join him. Once it was over I was crying so uncontrollably I could hardly breathe. I had never been so happy to see a building before.

Well, I'm just glad the whole ordeal is over and done with. Our time was terrible but that is the least of my concerns. This experience gave me a whole new understanding into the mind of competitive athletes. It's incredible how fierce that will to succeed and conquer must be not only in the competitive environment but also in nature. If you have mentally checked out then it's really hard to check back in. Last week's run was much shorter at 1:40 but we probably ran close to the same distance.

The good news is that according to our ForeRunner the run burned 2740 calories! I had no idea how much energy we were burning. Our diet and lack of hydration is playing a bigger part now that our distances are getting higher and I need to pay more attention.

I had not used our watch before but it has a GPS system and calculates just about everything under the sun. You can download your running history with map's, etc. It has a virtual trainer that shows you how what your progress is compared to your goals. Fascinating.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Stuff

Hi Moo! I'm writing this with you in mind as you really are the sole purpose for my blog :-) I feel terrible that I've not written for so long so I will try and bring you up to date with my random events. None of the following items are a critique in any way to your blog opinions. Having just read your blog it reminded me of all the times I think "I'll blog that" and then then never do!

Firstly, I hate the thought of that stupid book "The Secret" that Oprah is promoting. There is some validity to positive thought, no doubt, but in a recent article it seems that the author is more concerned with materialistic benefits to positive thought than anything else. Now, of course, I've not read the book nor seen the DVD so I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Anyway, I've stopped TiVo ing Oprah since I can't stand her at the moment.

If I were to support a politician, which will be very unlikely, I think it would be Ron Paul. His is a republican (Gasp). Actually, he is a libertarian disguised as a republican and is running for president. I cannot support any politician but if I were to decide to one day a responsible member of society he would have my vote.

What else is going on? Let's see. Running is going good. Friday we managed a 110 minute run with only about 8 minutes of total walking! I felt great (odd, but true) until the final 10 minutes and at that point I thought I was going to pass out. We are scheduled for a 2 hour jog tomorrow but it looks like I have a work conflict so it may be pushed out until Saturday. The jogging is going very well but my body is resisting. One would think I would be melting away the pounds but such is not the case. The good news is that I'm eating whatever I want, whenever I want and if I focused I probably would melt away the pounds. The problem is that I don't have any focus right now. I'm very proud of your recent run! Maybe we can train for that tri after all? Mike and I have already contemplated the thought of doing a full marathon after this puppy as it seems like it would be good thing to try and do before this race of life is over. We shall see.

I'm anxiously awaiting socks. I hope that they arrive. I hope that the chain will not be broken and I sent the letter out to very responsible individuals (or so I think). We shall see.

My new assistant started this week and she seems great. I feel so much more upbeat in the office as we seem to have a better connection. She left her job to come work with me so I am under a bit of stress right now to make sure that I have a great year to keep us going. I feel now that I have a responsibility to her which I never felt to my past one.

Work is work. Whatever.

The house is coming along nicely. Mike is working like a dog. If you want to see his efforts they are at http://www.realtor.com/Prop/1077488329. He really did a phenomenal job and now is working on the house we will move into. I'm not sure when it will be done but it's moving along. Hopefully it will all be ready so you can see it when you visit.

Dukers is doing great (except for the fact that she just ate my camel pack). She is now catching the Frisbee occasionally which is very exciting. Yesterday she started Puppy Training and ran three miles which she seemed to like okay. I think she gets very thirsty though. I have to send her to the doctor soon to get fixed. Poor pup.

I'm already tired and feel like I'm in need of a vacation. There are lots of changes in the industry right now and I'm not sure how it will effect things. Stress levels are high right now but I'm mitigating that with chocolate. Excellent.