Welcome Iggy P!

I'm very excited as today was the first day I got to use my new iPod Iggy P ( after Iggy Pop who I don't listen to but it seemed an appropriate name). First, I would like to say that the people at Apple know what they are doing and they also know how to make searching for songs very easy and very costly. Before I knew it I was thinking to myself "Damn, I should have gotten the bigger wiped". It really is fun though and I'm very happy I went with the wiped. I'd like to thank you all. Meg Moo for your purchasing assistance, Michelle for the lovely arm band accessory I just ordered with my amazon gc, and Rachele for sending me the article that got me off my butt which created the need for Iggy. Very very cool.

I was so excited to find some songs last night that I had not heard forever and just love. They are very obscure songs that are hard to find (until now). The first is Sunchyme by Dario G and the other is Delirium by Euphoria. I didn't really know that these songs fall under the "electronic" category. Who knew that I had a taste for it. They are not really very electronic at all. Sunchyme is a remix of Dream Acadamy's "Life In A Northern Town" which I got hooked on while living in Switzerland. Euphoria they played on KBCO for a while. It makes me think I should explore this genre more as it's not very mainstream. The 2 favorite songs for this week (I have new favorites every single week) are Love and Memories by O.A.R and Hate Me by Blue October. I was very excited to add these 2. Man, I could go on and on. Let Me Entertain You by Robbie Williams made it on the list as did Send The Pain Below by Chevelle. We can't foget to mention Blink-182's I Miss You. Ah, I'm so happy. I can't wait to explore more. I wish you could bring up chart's by countries then I could see what was going on back home.

The house closing went well. Scary. It's finalized. A reality. AHAHA.

Curse of Four

I'm really annoyed. I have the curse of 4 when it comes to poker tournaments. Today starts week 7 on level 2 of the poker challenge. Of the 6 weeks prior 2 weeks I was one win short of moving up and in both those weeks I had a 4th place finish. Last week I had 3 wins with, here it is, four 4th place finishes. Cry me a river. As of this morning I have played 2 tournaments for this week, and yes, you guessed, I have placed 4th in both. I think there is a lesson here. I'm playing well but I am not playing aggressively enough to have enough chips for the end game. I have to be maximizing my wins to have the mula to make it to third. I seem to run low and play defense towards the end. Ah well, it's frustrating and annoying but I'm having a great time. It's nice to get away from work. Mike is working from home today so I can sit here next to him and play some Pokie and just chill. I welcome it but my competitive side can't help but be frustrated.

I'm excited today because I can (mostly) chill for the day. I'm going to buy my iPod today so I am very excited. Hopefully it will help out with the running. For some reason going to Sams club has never seemed so exciting. Lord.

I close on my house tomorrow, finally. I'm stressed because I haven't scheduled any contractors to come out yet and this means I have cost myself some money. I kept meaning to do it but work has been overwhelming. Last week saw 18 hour days and I was just beat. I have to balance this though because this is going to cost me money in other ways if I don't manage this property correctly. Shucks.

This weekend saw the listing in my Farm finally hit the market. I hope this means good things. I am so tempted to throw the farm away. I did an open house this weekend and it was very encouraging to meet neighbors and hear them say "You look so familiar". When I explain why they are very complimentary of the data I send each month and some said they read it very carefully. My managing broker informs me it may take 3 to 5 years for it to be fruitful. Hmmm..I've not yet completed 2. It's pricey at $500/month. I guess all the more reason to be working lots of hours.

Last evening we had dinner at a client's house. They are the most interesting people and I really enjoy their company. Her life story is so unbelievably tragic it makes you look into yourself and say "Get over it". I cannot comprehend so much pain, guilt, and tragedy in any one persons life. At one point she was emotional to the point of tears after telling us a story and I wanted to rush over there and hug her and say "It will be okay, you did your best" but I just didn't. I don't know why I couldn't but the pain was so raw and the emotion in the room so dense I was immobilized. It was a moment I will never forget. She is such a strong soul to be able to face the world as she does it makes me appreciate all the things I take for granted every single day.

Um, sorry. My seedlings seem to be doing well. I've not yet come to terms with the Canon purchase. I'm working on it but getting very nervous with the house coming up tomorrow. I think it is just hitting me now that the house is closing tomorrow. Yikes. Freaky.

Choices

I know logically that the choices I make determine the results I get. Why is it so hard to make good choices? The choices I battle with are food, work, budgeting, exercise, and time.

I keep telling myself you don't HAVE to eat chocolate and yet I have this compulsive gene that cannot make the good choice. I think I am an addict. See my fitday for further food lamenting. Last night I took a client to dinner to celebrate their new house and I told myself before hand to make good choices. By the time I sit down to dinner all control flies out the window (or in this case the vault since we ate at The Broker). I just wish I had the control to make better choices. I do have the control! I just have to exercise it. I guess when dinner is on Denver Homes, LLC (how that name was still available I don't know) I figure I should just make the most of it.

DH is very happy right now. I've decided to give my business a third person title so that it is more separated from myself. Hmmm..noone said it was rational. Anyway, DH finally got to experience the joys of the relocation client. Yes, it was beautiful. I met the client a week ago as they were visiting various Open Houses and within 6 days we had found them an awesome house. This was such a stark contrast to the 60 homes I land up showing most clients or the frustrations with the lack of good inventory it was just amazing. DH got to work with an experienced, motivated, confident, mature client and it was really nice.

My other home is now ready for take off. We cleared up the issues required. I would really like to buy my camera to document this project and the other one but I am procrastinating as I may resent such a large purchase a few months down the road when the realities of the overhead involved with both projects sets in. My mentor at work says I need the write off so I may as well take the plunge. I'm trying to be a much better, educated, less compulsive consumer. I've been very good this year. My budget is lean which is excellent but there is always concern. Oh well.

Another purchase I have been mulling over for a few months is a MP3 player or Ipod. I have been procrastinating because I have an MP3 player that I've had for about 3 years but I have never changed the songs on it from the first time I loaded it up. I am sick of running to it because I hate all the songs now. Last night I spent much time selecting songs for the damn thing so that I could have some excellent workout music only to discover I cannot for the life of me find the USB cable. AHAHAHAHA. I'm so freaking mad! I have no idea where it is or where it could be. So, here is another purchase to debate over. This one is direr though. I need some motivation. I’ve been very consistent with working out I just don’t appear to be increasing effort. I still run the same slow lazy pace as ever.

Mike has given me the green light to sign us up for dancing lessons! We have so little time to cultivate friends, interests, or hobbies and every single month this conversation comes up. We are going to try hard to make time for fun things in life. I love my lifestyle and I love my job but I wish there was more time to do things that enrich us beyond just DH. Because we both have similar interests in the work front we can talk shop all the time which is good and bad. I can’t imagine being with someone who didn’t understand the time constraints or the sudden “Hey honey, I have to run, can we do this another time?”. I don’t know that I could tolerate it. He deserves an award. At times I feel so selfish and self centered because DH always comes first. I think this is the problem I have with kids/dogs, etc. I can’t envision how to balance both. I feel such a huge obligation to people and such a strong need to make them happy that I can’t say “No, not now”. It’s not about the income, or the deal, or the goals it’s just about saying “Sorry, I can't accommodate you right now”. I have such a strong need to please it is really detrimental. I’m working hard to curb that a bit and find some balance. Wish me luck. I guess it comes back to making good choices.

Racing the Sun

In my fantasy world I would be able to wake up before the sun. Only about 15 minutes that is. I would then have that 15 minutes to get ready for my jog and then the sun and I could welcome in the new day together. My fantasy world would allow for lots of early morning time to visit all my seedlings to see how they are doing and to grab a slow cup of coffee and to be at my desk by 8:00 AM. Excellent. It turns out the sun gets up rather early in the morning. This is a problem for me. I was so proud of myself to actually be out of bed by 6:00 only to realize the sun has been up for some time already. I'm so competitive but trying to beat the sun is one competition I don't think I want to take on. It was really great to be up and about and working early though. I'll have to try it more often. The one hour difference is huge for me for some reason.

My seedlings are doing very well. I'm excited because most of them are starting to come through. They will hopefully be happy and healthy and very colorful indeed. I did some research last night and I at least know what model camera I want. Now the problem lies in where to buy it. There are so many options! You can get amazing prices at some online stores but all the reviews are horrible that it would really be a gamble. If I go for a full price store it's pushing my budget just a bit. Sigh. Decisions. AHAHA.

I've not hear about my little house yet. I'm hoping all is well but it is hard to say. I'll but them soon and see if they have any news. Pooey.

Tired

I feel so tired and I'm not sure why. I feel like I'm ready to just nap the day away. I saw this chick on Oprah with Dr. Whoever and there definitely is a correlation between what we eat and how it makes us feel. They were saying some foods will make you feel tired all the time. I'm wondering what I may have eaten to contribute to this. I had some grapes today and that is about it. It's the kind of tired where you have a dull headache. Very odd. I did have a great work weekend but that usually equates adrenaline rushes (meeting and greeting for 5 hours) which can be really tiring afterwards. Yes! I shall blame work.

In the yard front the little seedling are doing well. Some are sprouting wonderfully and others are just being plain stubborn. I'll have to take some pictures of their development. I'm still trying to rationalize buying the digital Canon camera and I figure the seedling are surely a good enough reason. Hmmm.

My skin is itching and feels very odd. I've been on this "treatment" for 2 days now. I'm wondering if it is slightly too harsh. Hmm..Oh well. Maybe it's this gook that is giving the the headache? Maybe it has seeped into my brain. Okay, okay, maybe not. I'm procrastinating going into work. Can you tell? I have to make a lunch salad and then go but I'm having a hard time lighting the fire under my butt. Sigh.

Annoyed X 2

GRRRR. I just wrote a post which was title "Annoyed" and as I hit publish IE crashed. GRRR. Here is the summary:

1) Annoyed with Survivor
2) Had a great work weekend but sad I couldn't take time off to see Kev
3) House deal (mine not Mike's) looks very bad and deal may fall through due to title issues
4) Poker is driving me nuts. 4 weeks on level 2. In the past 2 weeks I have placed 4 out of 10 times with a 4th place finish both weeks. GRRR
5) I hate IE

Cranky

Ugh. This is day 4 of no candy and very little sugar and there is no doubt about it: I am cranky. Cranky. Cranky. This sucks. I am antsy, I hate the world, I don't want to work out (okay, I never want to work out) and, and, and, much more miserable things. I'm not sure this lack of sugar thing works for me.

Okay that was yesterday. Today I'm feeling much better after half a gallon of sugar consumed in the form of salad dressing and alcohol last night. Excellent. The bad thing is that I definitely am feeling the lack of complex carbs on the runs again so I'm going out for Sushi tonight (or so I aim to wheedle into the plans).

Gross topic: skin. I've decided to go see a dermatologist and in my research discovered a site that has this really interesting skin care regiment that uses only over the counter products. Interesting. It's a not for profit site. I decided I will try to do this for a bit before going to the doctor (since I have such excellent health insurance). Hopefully it will help my disgusting skin. Wish me luck.

On the work front it has been a bit of a rough week. I'm hoping things will pull up a bit. I'm 0-2 on contracts submitted. I hate being in second place. Whatever. I have to revamp the open house and get motivated.

Hello, old Friend

Thank you for all your very nice words of encouragement :-) I shall continue my journey and hold my head up high (ISO).

I have decided to go back on the fit day wagon again. It was fitting that I ate last night (after committing not to for the week) and that I ditched my workout for the day. I just didn't have it in me this morning. I keep hoping I will do some tapes. Ha, Ha. Last night's dinner was work related which was very hard to avoid. I liked Fit Days old interface more than the new one. Maybe like most fuddy duddies I'm just averse to change.

Speaking of change I'm having a major melt down today. The house is definitely weighing on my mind. Do I hold it for a year? Do I sell it? What do I do? It seems the dollar is heading down the tubes so do I invest more in Gold or do I diversify? Where will the Real Estate market be after all this drama? I called my financial advisor and in one sentence said "Sell the Gold and sell the conservative funds and let's go aggressive" Hmmmm..he said I should call back in a week after I've calmed down a bit. I guess I'll just hang tight for a minute and calm down. Freaking out is so over rated anyway.

The House, The House, The House. AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. I guess it's just so daunting because it's mine alone. Oh well, you have to start somewhere. The very scary part is that I can't believe how easy it is to get a HELOC and pull all the money out. No wonder foreclosures are so high. Scary. I heard this horrible story from a lender yesterday that said there were 7 homes on the same block in foreclosure (newer development in Thornton) because the home owners used the builders lender at the time they bought x years ago and now the rates are at 9%. Great.

STOP STRESSING. Okay..all is good...hmmm...bye..for now..

Why is it so hard?

It seems if I have any sort of hiccup in the Open House arena I have the hardest time recovering. I had a bad OH a few weeks back and I have been dreading the thought of doing them. The constant rejection and dismissive attitudes of people are very hard to stomach. I wish Realtors had better reputations and were respected just a tad bit. I know I have to get over this and just keep going but I dread it and I delay it and my business is suffering for it. Why oh Why?

On Friday I met with our mentor/advisor. His advice to me was that I need to get in front of people more and I agree with him 100%. Another thing I dislike doing. It's hard for me to have one on one time with people because I feel so anxious that they will dislike me and then I think they can feel that stress and it just snow balls. He says I need to just practice practice practice. Great.

I had a wondeful weekend. A friend came to visit and we spent Friday and Saturday catching up, eating poorly (now 6lb over) and consuming moderate amounts of alcohol. The tricky part about living and working in the same area is running into your clients at a bar when you are 3 sheets to the wind and ready to keel over. Not a great impression. Ah, what can you do? I did some Open House spying with my friend and according to what we saw I should apparently be dressing up in mini skirts and tight blouses. I should also be bent over weeding the yard as prospects walk up the drive way to demonstrate to them my "other" skills. Interesting.

This morning we had brunch with a client for probably the last time. This is my first client that has sold and left Denver. It was a little sad but I was relieved to get them out of their house in less than a year with only a small financial loss. It's odd to think I won't see them again because I get attached to my clients. Oh well.

Thank You Little House

I wanted to send a shout out to my house. It really has treated me very well. It has sheltered me from the elements, provided a warm space for friends, and provided me with a safe place to hide from the world. She has even managed to produce some peaches, strawberries, raspberries, grapes, and apples. She is very talented. Her best talent was performed today when she was able to secure a very large HELOC for me at an excellent rate (shout out to USAA) that will allow me to pay for and renovate a house I just contracted today. What am I thinking? Have I done the right thing?

Apparently I'm thinking Mike and I don't have enough debt and I should acquire some more. I mean, what's another 270K? I'm very excited though as I've been presented with an amazing opportunity. This house ( which is a stone throw away from my house) came on the market on Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday morning I submitted an offer, and by this morning the Sellers had 15 offers on the table. I'm very fortunate that they went with my offer as I was not the strongest bidder. They felt I was the best presented offer and they felt the most comfortable with me. I'm still in shock. My competitive side can't help but smile to think I beat out 14 other people and I was not the strongest on price. Odd still that a corporate seller (bank) would make that decision. I've learnt a lot in the past 2 years. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment on Friday when, at Mike's closing, it was confirmed which bidder we had beat out and that we were not the strongest on price. I go heads up with this other guy a bit in my market and it was all I could do not to jump up and high five Mike in front of the Sellers. But I digress.

The house needs lots and lots of work. New systems, cosmetics, etc. etc. I'm scared because this will be my baby. Mine alone. Mike will not be helping out with any of the renovations as he has the other property to tend to. It will be a challenge, and it will be lots of stress, but that's why you hire contractors. I've got some good room for error and as long as the inspector doesn't determine the house is about to fall down (which I doubt) and as long as I don't mess up my financing (always a chance) I should own this puppy by the end of the month. It was a bit of mental battle with myself to get it done as my support system wants to protect me and I know I have to at least give it a try. Hence my frustration in the blog yesterday. It will be a huge undertaking. I'm hoping the strain of these 2 projects won't be too much in the year to come. Ah, it will be a ride.

My long term hope is that I can build a little nest egg and do another one. I didn't feel like this was something I wanted to do until recently when I started working with an investor. I showed him a great opportunity and he didn't take my advice and he didn't get the house and the great opportunity turned into a pile of dust. I was thinking to myself why am I hunting down these opportunities for people only for them not trust my opinion and then to lose out on a great investment? It just doesn't make sense to me. I should trust my own opinion and make those investments myself. Odd that this puppy came on the market so soon after that experience with the investor. Maybe he was a blessing in disguise. On the other hand maybe I am deranged and have made the worst purchase ever. Time will tell.

In other news I think 2 more sunflower shoots have emerged. I ate out today for the first time this week and I did not make good decisions (chicken wings and french fries). Damn.

I Hate It When

I hate it when you have all the best intentions in the world and you still screw up big time. I seem to do this a lot in my life. I also hate having to justify my actions. I do what I do and not everyone needs to get it, rationalize it, or accept it. Life is too short (or maybe too long?) to be haggling over the day to day decisions that drive one's happiness. It is what it is.

That said, I was a bad girl today and did screw up. My intention was to eat very well ( excellently in fact ) and unfortunately the hard salami and Boursin cheese attacked me at lunch. I tried to fend them off as best I could but to no avail. I think the overcast skies and the chill in the air contributed to the salami's need for freedom from the fridge and the subsequent attack. The only defense I had was to stack the salami and cheese on crackers and promptly eat them before the entire situation got out of hand. It was carnage. Let's hope it never happens again because the Reese's Pieces got in the action too. Damn peanut butter.

The good news is that I did run today which makes it 3rd time this week and the 4th day in a row (does Sunday count as the first or last day of the week? I never can decide). I'm trying to up it a bit and get back to 5 times a week since I have abandoned Kathy and Jillian. I'm sure they are keeping each other company in the basement so I don't feel too bad. The good news is that on my drive this morning I passed a rec center very close to my house that I did not know was there. I'm going to go and explore sometime soon. It looks like it has an indoor pool and it looks much newer than the dusty, rust bitten rec center down the street. Promising!

I feel beat right now. I had a bit of a sleepless night and I think the 2.5 hours of combing the streets has wiped me out. Maybe a little fiesta is in order? I don't think it ever hurt anyone. I have 4 little sunflower shoots that have come up and I am closely monitoring them. My fear is that some idiot will trod over them as they are next to the sidewalk outside the front of the house. They look very fragile. I'm wondering where the other 36 seedlings are. I have deep suspicions that the stupid birds and squirries have eaten my other seedlings. Damn them!

Unacceptable

I find it unacceptable that people are not blogging more. Dammit! There should be a constant stream of new information every hour on the hour. What is wrong with you people? It's disgusting. Odd how lack of work turns me into a blogging maniac. Blah.

I think it's hilarious that Meg Moo posted about her pots yesterday and I posted about my container gardening (which is the same as pots). Moo, I think your pots look awesome and I think it's the best, easiest gardening ever. I check on my seeds constantly (it's obsessive) to see if they are coming up yet and it has only been 1 day. Terrible. Like I said, I definitely need work.

Ah, the poker. RG, it is tragic. I didn't have time while away and then last week was so nuts I couldn't squeeze it in. I have time this week but now I feel like I should be drumming up work instead. Terrible. I'm not doing either. Instead I am obsessively checking blog accounts for updates. Damn blogging. DAMN YOU PEOPLE.

Sorry, got a little out of control there for a bit. I was whining (I know, when don't I whine?) to my "employer" about how unsatisfied I am with my sudden lack of work (it really is like lightening..one day to the next) and he said I should just chill and enjoy it now. How can I chill? I'm such a moron. I'm stressed if I'm working and then I'm more stressed when I'm not working. He says I'm doing fine and to just relax a bit but it's driving me nuts. Nuts. NUTS. Okay, phew, enough. It will all work out I'm sure.

6 LB! Yes, now I weigh6lb (more like 7lb) over where I want to be. The stupid train is leaving the station. I have to do better. I hate this feeling. Mama mia. When did this happen. Dammit. VENT VENT VENT.

Umm..alright. I have to end on a positive note. Positive note. I'm really very happy right now and although very unsatisfied with some areas of my life my secret wish is that my honey will become a millionaire and I can quit my job. He thinks I'm nuts and will drive him nuts if ever I did this but I think it would be grand. Screw all this "working" stuff. It seems so over rated anyway. So that is my secret wish. Oh, and also that I will be a kick ass poker player one day. Oh, and that I will also have buns of steel and amazing abs and svelte sexy thighs. Ha, ha, ha, riiigggghhhtttt.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Odd. I'm busy beyond belief for weeks and weeks and now I find myself today with very little on my hands. In fact the whole week looks dismal. Not a great sign. In fact, a terrible sign. I've been skipping open houses due to work (and yesterday due to just plain laziness) and now my pipeline looks like as dry as the Karoo. I could just kick myself. How does this happen?

In other horrible news, I've gained at least 5 lb. I've been running consistently a minimum of 4 times a week but I have given up my videos (for now). The bad bad culprit is 1) Easter 2) Eating Out. Yes, it's a shame. I ate out so many times last week. I want to say at least 5 or 6 and that type of food just sticks to me ( and everyone I guess). I'm really annoyed that I don't have more discipline when it comes to eating out. I know I should make good choices. All the disgusting Candy in the house is not assisting me in any way. I've also been eating poorly at home (today's breakfast was nutella and pancakes. What was I thinking?)

Mike and I added up our debt. We have over 1 million dollars in debt. Thankfully it is "good" debt and not bad debt but whatever. If feels terrifying to know that in a few short months it will be closer to 2 million once the construction starts. We closed on the house on Friday so this puppy is becoming more of a reality each and every day. Thankfully the sellers wanted to do a rent back until the end of July which gives Mike time for surveys, soil tests, legal descriptions, architects, bids, etc. etc. I'm trying so freaking hard not to put my over controlling and bossy self into the mix. It is so hard. Hard hard hard. I think I'm doing okay though.

Okay, I think a congratulations are in order for myself. Me, me, me. It has been over a year now that I have consistently been working out just about every single week. It's a miracle! The bad news is my knees are starting to ache on my jogs. Both of them. Not too much pain just a dull ache that I know is probably not good news. Shucks. Oh well, yeaaah! It definitely is a miracle.

I spent this morning (and parts of last week) gardening. It is so much fun. I cannot wait to see if the seeds grow and if the flower come out. The best invention ever is container gardening. Don't feel like removing that pea gravel? No problem! Plant a large urn/container with pretty flower and done! I'm so excited. I'm also in pain due to all the gardening. I took some pictures of my oohh soooo cooool lawn furniture. Only in Colorado can you get these 2 shots within a day of each other.














What else has been going on in my little world? Ah YES! VACATION!! I'm such a lucky little wench. November has been slotted for South America with Victoria and July will be the West Coast with MegMoo. I feel very naughty indeed. Wheee!