HeartBroken

I just noticed now that my blog template is the same colors as the Denver Broncos. Everywhere I turn, there is a painful reminder of how our boys fell. Ah, the agony is too much. The good news is that they will rise again to play another year. My theory is that Jake Plummer's beard contained too many viruses and bugs which caused him to get a "cold" that he was complaining about. If the man just cut his beard then he would not have created such a cess pool. Disgusting!I mean really, can he not afford a hair cut? I mean, for the love of nuts, what the heck, how do you turn over the ball 4 times in one game after only turning it over 5 times the entire season. Ach, yikes. Don't even get me started. In other news, I think I only have 12 miles to run to meet my 60 mile goal, but I'm not 100% sure about that. I had a great weigh in today at 149.2, but I'm frightened to know what it will be like to tomorrow as I promptly at a couple of bags of candy today. Hmmm..not so good. To add spice to my jog this weekend I picked a house to preview and then jogged to the house to look at it. It was a very nice change than doing loops around and around the park but it was sooo unbelievably cold. BRRRR. Like in the twenties cold. BRRR. I must have been possessed.

And Just When You Need It...

Isn’t' it funny how just when you need a little bit of a break one presents itself? Since getting back from Holiday I'd not had a day off, which is not too bad as I average about 8 hours of work a day (which is way higher than usual since I've been working in the office. Go Office!) . After a while it gets very tedious as there seems to be no reprieve. I was so tired yesterday morning when I woke up. The kind of tired where your eyes are slightly swollen and they feel all grainy. You get out of bed and promptly trip over the scale and then bump into a wall. The type of tired you are just grinding through and wishing you would wake up soon. I was dreading my run while massaging my toe thinking "How can I rationalize not working out today". I hate it when I sacrifice working out, even though I hate it so much, because I know if I abandon it due to a busy schedule it will be that much more difficult to get into it again. Anyway, I was so relieved to see it snowing like crazy! Yeaah! No working out for me. In celebration I decided to take most of the rest of the day off and finish knitting my family scarves they have all requested. Excellent. The really good news is that Sunday is another day off because of the Broncos game. This whole town is electrified by the prospect of what could happen should we win on Sunday. Meg Moo, the amazing part about wanting the Steelers to win is that they beat the Colts, who are the best team in the league. The Colts have historically beaten us each time we have been in the playoffs since our last Super Bowl win. They are very very good and their quarterback (Peyton Manning) is one of the best. If the Colts had won last week, we would have to go to their home field to play since they are ranked #1 and we are ranked #2 in the AFC. Since the Steelers beat them (ranked #6) they have to come to our stadium which gives us a really big home field advantage. The problem is the Steelers look very good right now. I'm concerned that with all the Media attention this week the Broncos will not be adequately prepared for Sundays big game. AHAHAHA.

Crock A Doodle Dooo

It's funny, but all the gifts that I have used the most and enjoyed the most are house related. The more ironic part is that Mike and I are terrible when it comes to selecting kitchen items. I just don't think we do enough homework (Meg moo, on a side note while I'm ranting about gifts, I love your lip balm as the color is great and it looks really nice). Anyway, the things I've enjoyed so far include Rachele's cutting knife and cooking pan, and now more recently Nina's crock pot. I think the crock pot will revolutionize the way I cook. It's so amazingly easy, tastes wonderful, and is very versatile. I am so in love with the crock pot. Anyway, a new fantastic level of love comes from Mike and I's decision to eat our bigger meal at lunch and our small salad for dinner. All I have to do is throw in the ingredients before I go to bed, and then viola, yummy food ready in the morning for Mike to take to work and for me to eat for lunch. Amazing. Easy. Fantastic. I love it. Go Crock A Doodle Doo. P.S. The Pittsburgh Steelers won!!!!!! Unfortunately tickets for this weeks game run about $450. Yikes. Whatever. I love my T.V. too. Oh, yes. 25 more miles to go. I discovered that running in light, wet snow is not really all that exciting. Still 3.5 lb over weight when I left England. Dammit!! It's a good thing I ate dessert for breakfast. I'm sure that will even it all out :-)

Go, Broncos, Go!!

Ah, what a phenomenal game last night. I couldn't believe the Broncos were able to pull out a win against the defending New England Champions. It was really unbelievable and one of the best games I've ever watched. My throat today is a bit raw from all the commotion, but eh, who cares. Next step: defeat (hopefully the Stealers) for the AFC Championship title and then off to the Super Bowl. In celebration of the Broncos Victory I stopped off at Gart sports on our way home from the Sunday bagel to buy some team supporting gear. Although not in the clothing budget, I made an exception so as to show my team support at my Open House today. I've had one compliment so far, so go Broncies! Now here is the thing that pisses me off to no end (even as much as idiotic politicians). The Broncos are the least talked about team in the NFL. If ever you watch a sports show (NFL Today) there is no mention of the Broncos and yet here we are. It makes me so mad, because everyone except Shannon Sharpe (ex Bronco) picked New England to win. Everything was about New England, New England, New England. Now, this morning, after we whip their butts they are still talking about what a great team New England will be next year! It makes me want to scream. No credit at all to the very deserving Broncos. Anyway, New England did make some huge errors, but our defense and special teams were able to win the game for us. Plummer played well, but not excpetionally so, but at least he was able to avoid the costly mistakes of seasons prior.

On other not so exciting news: Weight gain this week: 2 lb. Laps left to run: 28. I guess the monitoring my food is not such a good idea. Either that or all the chocolate I've been eating. Dammit, this is not good timing as I am SO PSYCHED for our trip to the land of sun and sand. Dammit. I shall try and be better this next week.

Big Victory!!!

Wow, I better record this Big Victory while I feel happy about it and before anything bad happens (NOT THAT ANYTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN). Never, nothing bad will happen. I mean, nothing as bad as buyers buying a home while your are gone or people now showing up for buying appointments because that has already happened this week. It seems like the bad run of things should be out my system and hopefully the good run will be coming soon. Anyway, Big Victory: Lady calls me and says she has seen me at open houses for the past year or so. I remember her right off the bat because I saw last weekend she very quietly took my card at an open house so I made a mental note. I was so excited when she called today. I've had such an absolute shit week it's unreal, and then yeaaah! this wonderful, qualified, mature, normal buyer shows up out of the blue. Phew, I'm so excited to work with her because she has realistic expectations about real estate. Yes! Anyway, she was lovely to talk to and I told her how I tend to work with clients and she said "You don't have to sell yourself to me, I made my decision some time ago that I want to work with you". Wow. I feel so happy. Right now at this moment. If I could just open this bottle of joy next week when people walk all over me that would be wonderful. Ah, such is the life. I feel so happy that I've forgotten the misery I felt this morning after doing my taxes. Yikes. Talk about a let down. I've decided to hire someone to do them for me to see if I can somehow eliminate some of it. It just seems like so much money to pay. I don't know, maybe I'm looking at it all wrong. We do get things like public services, and libraries, and firemen and surely I can't complain about that. Right? Ah, other good news: only about 34 more miles to run. Wheee. I think I should be adding on miles since I am eating lots of bad things.

Little Victories

I've decided that the best way to get through this time right now is to celebrate the little victories and not concentrate on the rejections. This is hard to do though, but I shall try. Okay, little victory #1: I managed to get the owner of my company to rent me a desk in the office at half price until May. The exceptional part of this victory is that I got the best desk in the entire office!! The furniture is beautiful, and I share a large office with 3 other desks (which are currently empty..yeaah). My desk is huge, made from beautiful wood, and I have a lovely lamp as well. The best part is that it's parked in front of a large window that overlooks downtown Denver. I love my desk. Victory #2: I now have a routine. Up at 6:15a, work from 6:30a to 7:30a. Workout, shower, breakfast from 7:30a to 9a. In the office at my new desk the rest of the day. Excellent. I just park myself here and stay here all day until I get some productive things done. Victory #3: My scanner is working wonderfully now and scans quickly enough that it's not an overwhelming annoyance. Victory #4: Only 37 more miles to run to atone for yummy food. Victory #5: I'm doing well on the no monitoring food stage, and am actually eating candy, sugar, and other yummy things. Hmm..we will see how long this lasts. I'm only eating very small amounts, but enough to satisfy the beast within.

Um, other really encouraging news. Mike surprised me on Sunday by finishing out an eave in my room so he can store his clothes in it. He made a makeshift closet that works wonderfully. This way, we don't have to buy a closet and he doesn't need to renovate my room. I was so happy that he did it because the temporary closet was driving me nuts. Grrrrr.

I wonder why I feel the need to celebrate the little victories. I mean, I'm so freaking lucky. Even if I don't sell a single house this year I will be fine. I will be more than fine. The sky is not falling down, we are not under nuclear attack, and almost everyone I know is in excellent health. Why do I feel that I have to get validation through my job, or accomplishments, or what I do. Why can't I get validation from who I am. I guess I define myself through my job, which is just sad. There are so many better ways to define oneself: wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Aren't these more important than Realtor? Surely. Maybe I just need to grow up stop defining my accomplishments through money. What good does it do to be emotionally bankrupt but financially rich? No wonder all those people jumped out of their office buildings in 1929 when the stock market crashed. I think I need a new definition.

Planning! Ah, planning: what bliss. I bought a book on business planning some time back and am finally reading it. It's very good. Apparently I do too much "reactive" prospecting and not enough "proactive" prospecting. Excellent as I cannot wait to cold call people and knock on doors (insert big fat white fake tooth smile here). In any event, the planning book is very good as it forces you to analyze your market place, your competitors, and of course yourself. I can never have enough self analysis. I've set my goals for the year, but apparently have not done enough planning. Wheee. One thing I want to start tracking is how many hours I really work.

I was very spoilt yesterday. My boots had dinner all planned out for me. He knew that it would be rough day being the first one back at Open House duty, and he was right. It was fantastic to come home to a lovely, very thoughtful meal. On the menu: stuffed pork chops with a ginger chutney! Yes, I was blown away by the preparation and the meal was scrumptious. We had a lovely bottle of wine and then of course I promptly fell asleep at around 8. Excellent. I cannot comprehend how he puts up with my moods when I think the world is not as it should be. I am blown away by how I can rely on his moods to be even tempered, supportive, and patient. Me, never. If on the rare occasions he is having a funky day I'm like "For God's sake, snap out of it". Yikes. He is an angel.

I want to send a shout out to those fantastic individuals who provide me with internet access while doing open houses. I cannot thank you enough for not securing your networks so I can have speedier access. Of course, please ( I beg you) do not do anything to hurt Delia else I will have to hunt and kill you.

The worst thing about Open Houses is needing to pee. Ach, terrible. Not to mention the fact that we went to Einstein Bagels this morning and drank 2 cups of coffee. Doesn't help, and I don't recommend it to anyone when you know you will be sitting somewhere for 6 hours with people coming and going. Lord, it's like trying to schedule the impossible. "Do I go now, or will someone come...gosh..I hope my pee isn't smelly in the event someone does come" On and on and on. Oh well.

Yes, so we had went to Einstein bagels today. This is what happens when you stop logging your food. This is our one and only time eating out for the week, so I think it's okay as it had to suffice for both Breakfast and Lunch. If we could eat out for $9 a week, every week, that would be fantastic. It was good to see the old place again as we have not been there for months it seems. The good news is that there is only 43 more miles to run to atone for England (mike and I only had 2 miles in us this morning, and we walked one at that but I thought I would count it anyway)

Ah, okay. Here we go. The all important (or should I say self important?) blog. Meg moo, the thing you don't realize is that I have tons more time on my hands than you do to fill these pages with much, much whining. This can only drive one crazy. In any event, in search of self importance I googled my name (see, lots more time) and dammit there is another VM. How can this be? Can there be another one of me out there. Well, here she is http://shelter-hosting.org.uk/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album11&id=gath_victoria_macaskill It's heartbreaking to think I'm not as original as I thought. Oh well. I'm also very pleased to know that I can still look up what my 2003 triathlon results were. Lord.

Well, I was very optimistic at the start of the New Year for work, and it lasted 4 days. I am once again back to my funky self. 100% of the business is attitude, and mine just stinks right now. I have to snap out of this. It doesn't help though when your business meetings are filled with prophecies such as "This is the year the industry will change", "we will soon be obsolete", "stand tough against discount realtors, offer value". Shit, what do they think I've been doing. Anyway, I've been filling my day with thoughts of how I will make this next year a better one, how can I reach my goals, and how I need to get off my butt. I read these articles about people out there pounding the streets and it makes me realize how little I apply myself. It makes me want to jump off a ledge because I don't know how to better apply myself. I read this today: "You should get up every morning and give a silent prayer of thanks that selling is so difficult. If it was easy, the field would be flooded by amateurs and the amount you could earn would be greatly reduced. But because it is hellishly hard, by becoming very good at it, your future can be unlimited!". Now, should I rejoice or cry?

I think I am going to stop Fit-daying, as I feel I'm ready for the next step: "eating moderately without having to record our food". I usually land up gaining weight when I enter this phase but lets see how it goes. I was 154 today, which is 4 pounds above pre holiday weight. I figure I have only 51 more miles to run to lose it. I figure I should stop obsessing. If I obsessed as much about food as I did money I would be a millionaire. So, I am now going to strictly monitor my money diet (I did not partake in the office $6 taco bar after the meeting! Victory numero uno).

Okay, if only I could bottle that post new year euphoria and open it up right now. I hate this funk. How do you get out of the funk? If I don't change my attitude very soon I will be in very big trouble. AHAHAHHA.. Okay, let's start by thinking positive things. Positive thing #1: Texas won the championship. Go Texas. Why this is positive I have no idea since I don't usually hang the Longhorns membership up but at least I can claim a victory through some sort of affiliation to a successful. Okay, Positive thing #2: I am so freaking lucky. The other Victoria is out there fighting for hungry people and I am not one of them. Positive thing #3: I think I could beat the other V in an arm wrestling match.

Okay, off to the drawing board so that I can feel as though I actually did something productive this year. Oh, great news! I heard the KW office was bought out. I wonder what will happen to all of them? Very interesting indeed. I just called my friend there to set up a drinking date for next week so I can get the skinny. Excellent. I've done one productive thing today.

Oh, here is a picture(s) of the most adorable thing in the whole world
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